I Had That Same Dream Again Read online

  Although I worried whether a wicked girl like her could truly bring happiness to an upstanding fellow like him, I decided not to interfere. I left them behind, and quietly entered through the automatic doors.

  I greeted the security guard as always. The guard, who stood watch near the doorway just like a watchman from a fairytale, respectfully returned my greeting. Initially, I had assumed security guards were policemen out on an errand, but the elderly guard reminded me of a sorcerer and had explained once that guards were allies of justice, guarding the gates of this marketplace.

  As I stepped within, a myriad of smells floated to my tiny nose.

  I loved coming to bigger supermarkets. No matter how many times I visited, I always found things I had never seen before, never eaten before, and all of my favorite things buried among them. It brought me the same joy that I felt when searching for a wonderful book.

  I found the watermelons quickly. There were round, uncut ones; and ones cut into triangular wedges. I found a wedge that was just big enough for me and Skank-san, and placed it into my shopping basket. There were also some square-shaped melons there. Having never seen such a thing before, I was shocked. Seeing how much money it would take to buy one of them, I quickly understood that even when it came to melons, things that were different were more costly.

  Although I had already found what I had come here for, I decided to look around some more. I had no intention of interfering with my friend’s romantic pursuits, and I wished to stay inside this cool place just a little bit longer.

  I saw fish and vegetables, and as I looked at the recipe cards beside the baking supplies, thinking how I wanted to be like Granny someday, a voice suddenly called to me.

  “Koyanagi-san!”

  I turned around at the familiar voice. I wonder whether my face was as bright as that day’s sun. “Oh hey, Ogiwara-kun! Here to shop?”

  “Yeah, my mom sent me out here. You?”

  “I came to buy some watermelon. It’s hot out.”

  “Yeah, it’s pretty hot today. I want to go out to some cold planet, like the Little Prince.”

  A very Ogiwara-kun reply, I thought. As far as I was aware, he and I were the only ones in our class who had read that book. I had not spoken to him since the time I told him the story about the baobab tree. At school, he was always talking to someone else, so I was thrilled at the chance to converse with him again.

  We talked for some time about The Memoirs of a White Elephant, which he had finished reading. Was it five minutes? Ten? I quickly forgot that I had come on an errand for Skank-san.

  I only remembered my objective when I looked down at the watermelon in my hands. While the idea of leaving gnawed at me, I could not keep my beloved Skank-san waiting. It was time for me to go.

  Ogiwara-kun and I were not friends. We only talked to each other from time to time. We had never eaten lunch, or even a snack together. Plus, I was not the only one who Ogiwara-kun spoke to. He was like that with everyone in the class, even Kiriyuu. Even so, I was able to converse with him as easily as I could with Skank-san, or Minami-san. He was the only one in our class who was as clever as me.

  My wedge of watermelon was growing lukewarm and I switched it out with another. Then I finally took my place in line at the register. After a short while in line, I handed my watermelon to the lady at the register and paid.

  “Running errands?” she said. “That’s impressive, little lady.”

  I did not think that was impressive at all. “Thank you, but I don’t think that’s true.”

  I got a white shopping bag and stuffed the watermelon into it. Then back to Skank-san’s place…or so I thought.

  I froze as I heard a loud voice.

  I couldn’t believe it.

  It was just like a scene out of one of the mystery novels I had read.

  The sound was coming from the entrance of the supermarket, a cacophony of loud voices. Startled, I looked towards the commotion to see two guards holding someone down. Nearby I saw another guard, pressing at his own face as though to check for injury. The loud voices were coming from the three people on the floor.

  “Don’t move!” one of the guards yelled, as incoherent shouting echoed through the supermarket.

  I had no idea why, but the person on the ground sounded like they wanted to hurt someone. I could not will my legs to move.

  What was going on? I didn’t understand, but I was quite uneasy. I churned the gears inside my little head.

  “Must be a shoplifter,” said one of the adults nearby.

  A shoplifter? I knew what that was. It was a thief.

  Had that man been caught stealing? That much I could understand. Even though I understood this, I still could not bring myself to move.

  It was only when the guards warned off the people standing around snapping pictures on their cellphones that my legs decided to move. At the time, I still did not have a phone of my own. Even if I did, I had no interest in taking photos of bad people. I could not see their face, but there was no doubt that they were scary. The thief was taken away, but the murmuring around the store continued.

  People scattered like a swarm of ants, and I took advantage of the opening to make my exit. I wished I could have left this place just a second sooner, before such a scary thing had happened. I glanced over as I left, seeing dots of red where the battle had occurred. I quickly averted my eyes and rushed outside, my chest heaving with breath. I desperately needed to open up that window into my heart. That warm air soaked lovingly into my chilled thoughts.

  “Meow.”

  I looked down to find my little friend looking my way, almost glaring. The yellow dog was already gone.

  “What’s that look for? I didn’t forget about you. A lot of things happened in there. Let’s get back to Skank-san’s place.”

  I tried my best to forget what had just happened and I walked with my disgruntled friend in tow. I sang, carried her even when it wasn’t necessary, and asked her about the yellow dog. Still, a fog lingered over my heart. It felt very much like the time I heard my mother and father shouting at each other.

  I had the courage and the righteousness to admonish people when they were doing wrong. If I’d seen that person stealing, I surely would have said something. So why was my heart so hazy to see them apprehended? I couldn’t understand. I had witnessed something dreadful. That was all I could feel.

  This haziness continued even after I arrived back at Skank-san’s place. I ought to have asked her about it while she was chilling the watermelon for us. However, I had no interest in talking. I didn’t wish to put it into words and find those sights and sounds floating back up to the surface of my mind. Thus, I decided to only talk about pleasant things.

  “I saw a boy from my class at the market. We talked for a bit.”

  “Oh, you made a friend in class? I’m so glad to hear that. I was worried that you didn’t have any friends at school.”

  “He’s not a friend. We never talk about anything important, or meet up to hang out. Plus, I already have you, and this little one, and Minami-san, and Granny.”

  “You should make friends with the kids in your class, too. Just like me, and Minami-san, and Granny. Why don’t you?”

  “That’s easy. There’s too much distance between our hearts.”

  Skank-san opened her mouth as though to say something, but stopped herself. “I see,” she said at last, with a thin laugh.

  For some reason, as I continued to speak, the smile on her face grew wider and wider.

  “That boy isn’t my friend, but I like talking with him. He’s smart and he knows a lot about books. I wish I could talk to him more, but he’s nice to everyone. I wish he’d talk more to me, instead of to all those empty-headed idiots in our class.”

  “Oh?” She stopped lining her eyebrows with a pencil and looked at me. The look on her face was not the sparkling smile she usually wore, but a sly grin. When adults made faces like that, they were always thinking something devilish. “I
think you really like that boy.”

  “Yeah, well, I guess even I can like a classmate sometimes.”

  There was one more classmate I might be able to like if he could just grow a spine, but there was no sign of such a thing happening. Class observation day aside, he only ever ran away from me.

  “That’s not what I mean,” she said.

  “It’s not?”

  “You’re in love with that boy, aren’t you?”

  I’m sure I was just imagining it, but I could feel my whole face about to burst. “No way. I don’t even know anything about him.”

  “That doesn’t really matter.”

  “Love means you want to marry someone, doesn’t it? I definitely haven’t thought about that.”

  “Marriage isn’t all there is to love.”

  “What is love, then?”

  “I don’t really know. I’m sure you’ll understand it though, with that sharp brain of yours, little lady.”

  I could not conceive of the idea of there being something I knew that Skank-san did not. I knew that love and marriage existed. However, I had no interest in running away with Ogiwara-kun as the lovers in stories did, nor did I wish to gaze deeply into his eyes. I just wanted to talk to him.

  As we ate the watermelon, I decided to ask Skank-san a question. “Is there anyone who you want to marry?”

  “Nope. I don’t think I’m really the marrying type.”

  “Why not?”

  She looked up at the ceiling and hummed to herself, thinking, before she replied.

  “It’s like a crème brûlée. It’s fine that you can only see the sweet parts of love when you’re a child. In fact, it’s absolutely wonderful. Everyone knows that. But when you’re an adult, you realize that the bitter parts of the pudding are there as well, and sooner or later, you will have to eat them. But it’s not like coffee and beer. I hate the bitter parts of love. But it’s a lot of work to avoid them, so eventually I just stopped wanting to eat it at all.”

  “This is complicated.”

  Far more than math, or cooking, I thought.

  “I mean, there’s plenty of people who don’t get married these days, anyway.”

  “I don’t think I’ll get married when I grow up, either. Life is like a bed.”

  “What do you mean by that?”

  “A single is enough for sleeping.”

  Skank-san stared at me for a beat, and then gave the greatest laugh I had ever heard. I was thrilled that she enjoyed my joke, and munched the watermelon joyfully.

  “Was that meaning intentional?” she asked me.

  Not understanding the question itself, I just tilted my head.

  That night, as always, I grew sleepy around ten o’clock, mulling over all sorts of things. I snuggled into my warm bed and went to sleep.

  The next day, when I arrived at school, an unfathomable rumor was going around: Kiriyuu-kun’s father had been arrested for stealing.

  There was no way that such a kind man could have done such a thing, I thought. I wanted to force Kiriyuu-kun to say that this was a lie, but this turned out to be impossible.

  Kiriyuu-kun had not come to school that day, and when I asked Hitomi-sensei about it, I was unable to learn a thing.

  For the next few days I was without my usual partner. While Kiriyuu-kun was absent, I paired up with Hitomi-sensei during our ongoing happiness discussions. I did not dislike this new arrangement. In fact, I relished it, but I still could not help but be concerned about the rumors surrounding Kiriyuu-kun. I was particularly concerned because if the rumors were true, there was a chance it was related to the scene I had witnessed. And Kiriyuu-kun’s gentle father did not appear to be the sort of person who would do such a bad thing.

  It was six days, with the weekend in between, before Kiriyuu showed up at school again. When I migrated from the library to the classroom, just before Hitomi-sensei’s arrival, I saw him climbing up the stairs.

  “Good morning, Kiriyuu-kun.”

  I waited until he reached the same level as me before greeting him. Perhaps he did not know I was there because he looked at me, eyes wide and shoulders trembling. He looked like he might jump out of his skin on the spot.

  “K-K-Koyanagi-san.”

  “Been a while. Were you on vacation?”

  I could only hope. However, he just hung his head, and gave no reply.

  “I understand how you feel,” I said, and when he did not respond, I kept talking. “It’s really hot in Japan right now. I wish I could go somewhere cooler.”

  He lifted his face a little and looked at me, but still said nothing.

  When I entered the classroom, no one said anything to me as usual, or even looked my way. However, when Kiriyuu-kun came in, all conversation stopped and all eyes turned on him.

  It should have been a blessing, having everyone’s attention on him, but instead it felt like a cold wind. I wondered if Kiriyuu might just freeze to death. Despite my worries, there was no chance for this to happen as Hitomi-sensei soon entered. That was just like her, always punctual. As she came into the classroom, greeting us loudly and drawing the class’s attention, Kiriyuu and I took the opportunity to slip to the back and take our seats.

  I thought that Hitomi-sensei might have some explanation as to why Kiriyuu-kun had been out of school, but she did not say anything. She gave her morning announcements as though Kiriyuu had not missed a single day, then left the classroom again.

  “Hitomi-sensei!”

  I ran after her as she departed. She did not show the same surprise that Kiriyuu-kun had earlier. Perhaps she knew that I was following her, and that I wished to ask her a question. She smiled when she turned around, but I could see the sort of serious expression adults made when they had something unpleasant to say.

  “What’s the matter, Koyanagi-san? Are you having trouble looking over your math homework for next period?”

  “No, my homework is perfect. But Sensei, there’s something I want to know.”

  “What…?”

  “It’s about Kiriyuu-kun.”

  Although she was still smiling, she bit her lip and took me to an unoccupied classroom down the hall. I never minded having a secret conversation.

  She crouched down to meet my eye, and whispered in a voice much softer than usual. I was finally going to learn something. I listened with rapt attention.

  “Have there ever been times when you didn’t want to come to school?” she asked.

  “Every day,” I replied. “But I still come, because I want to grow smarter. And because I like seeing you.”

  She gave a complicated smile. “Well then, I’m sure you have days when you absolutely don’t want to come, like the last day of summer vacation, and Mondays, right?”

  Surely enough, there were plenty of times at the end of weekends and vacations when I had wished that I could use magic, and so I nodded. When I did, she nodded back.

  “Right? So it takes a lot of courage and power of heart to come to school on those days.”

  “And delicious sweets.”

  “Yes, indeed. So, even though Kiriyuu-kun had to take some time off from school to do some important things, it took a lot of courage and heart for him to come back today after all that time away, you know?”

  “I get it.”

  All the more for a coward like Kiriyuu-kun, I thought.

  When I nodded, she smiled happily.

  “I might be able to prepare some delicious sweets for later, but in the meanwhile, Kiriyuu-kun will need allies in the classroom to help him summon up that courage and strength. I want you to be one of those allies.”

  “But I was never his enemy.”

  “That’s true. So I want you to stay as you are, then. Just talk to him, and sit next to him, and eat lunch with him, like you always do. Can you do that?”

  “I can do that much. It’s not like he’s sprouted a horn out of his head.”

  She tittered. Her expression was like the one she had worn when I gave my presentatio
n on observation day. “I’m glad I can count on you. If Kiriyuu-kun still seems like he’s having a hard time, even with your help, come and tell me, okay? He probably won’t be able to tell me himself.”

  “Because he’s spineless.”

  “That’s not it. He couldn’t have come to school today if he wasn’t courageous.”

  Kiriyuu-kun? Courageous? I could not accept this from her words alone, but I still nodded and bid her farewell.

  What was this important business that Kiriyuu had needed to attend to? I pondered it as I returned to the classroom. I decided to ask him about it later. Hitomi-sensei told me to act normal around him, so that much should be fine.

  When I entered the classroom, I could feel a chilled air circulating around Kiriyuu-kun. I approached him to break through that cyclone.

  “Excuse me,” I said, pushing aside Kiriyuu-kun’s drooping bangs.

  He looked utterly shocked, but I had cleanly parted his hair, allowing me to get a clear look at his forehead. Sure enough, I found nothing there. I took my seat, and he looked at me with surprise and curiosity.

  “Hitomi-sensei was making such a serious face I was worried you might’ve sprouted a horn. It’s good that you don’t have one. Sorry for the surprise.”

  Even as I gave a clear explanation for my behavior, the shock and curiosity did not drain from his eyes. He was the same cowardly Kiriyuu-kun as always.

  I decided I would ask him about his important business when it was time to go home. I was always alone at the end of the day, and so was he. All I had to do was pull him aside and ask him. Or so I thought, but life is just like a father.

  In other words, you never get your way.

  “Yo, your dad’s a thief, isn’t he?”

  It happened during afternoon break. Usually after lunch, when Hitomi-sensei was away and the classroom was noisy, most of the children went to play out in the yard, or to the music room to toy with the piano. But today, several chose to stay and pay a visit to Kiriyuu-kun. Naturally, it was those idiot boys.

  Normally I would jump directly into the fray, but for now I chose to watch and let things run their course. Whether the rumors about Kiriyuu’s father were true or not, I knew that people were going to be saying bad things about him from now on. If only he had courage, I thought, he would be able to stave off these terrible things on his own.